Together we can tackle loneliness

Loneliness is an emotion we have when we feel alone.  Weirdly you can feel lonely even if you are with loads of people. Loneliness is horrible.

Even though we have lots of technology (which helps us to stay in touch), the feeling of loneliness for young people is getting more common. It seems that lots of young people experience feeling lonely and isolated.

Covid -19 didn’t help. Not only were people feeling emotionally isolated, but we were also physically isolated from our friends and extended families. Some young people liked being at home, but for others it was depressing, stressful and even dangerous.  

People say that teenagers today lack the closeness of face-to-face contact. Like when you are all sat in a room together but are all talking through your devices rather than giving eye contact and using your voices. This could be a factor that makes you feel more lonely and maybe low or depressed.

Interactive human communication skills help our brains to process our environment and work out if we are safe or in danger. If we are always staring at our screens we are less aware of what is going on around us. If we are constantly comparing our lives to people on social media we can have FOMO leading to low mood and isolation. All these things can increase feelings of loneliness.

Things we know can make you feel lonely: -

1.      Feeling too shy and introverted to connect with others

2.      Not feeling confident to talk to people

3.      Saying you don’t really feel like you need friends (even though you might really)

4.      Feeling like friendships are too much work or you are too busy to make new friends

5.      Not knowing other people you can be your true self with (for example if you are disabled, or LGBTQ+ or into D&D – or all of those things!) Sometimes you just need to find your tribe.

6.      Starting a new school or moving house – feeling like everybody has set friendships already.

7.      Not having youth clubs to go to, or jobs being harder to get than in the past

8.      Feeling like nobody likes you or want to be your friend

Feeling lonely is horrible. It can make you feel alone, unsupported, unconnected, or maybe even un-loveable. You might think it’s your fault, or that nobody will ever like you. This is not true. The good news is there are places you can go to meet new people and to make new friends.  If you feel lonely it can seem like everyone is against you, that no-one understands you, that no-one like you. But this can change.

There are things you can do!

1)      Spend less time on social media and do something else instead – (in just 3 weeks you can significantly reduce your feelings of loneliness and low mood).

2)      Try a new activity, find a new hobby or go to a youth club or after school club – look on Zillo for places to go

3)      Make a list of things you want from a friendship and try and work on those things in yourself – like kindness or being truthful or funny!

4)      Tell a trusted adult how you feel

5)      Find a counsellor or youth worker and ask for some help

6)      Be brave

7)      Be kind to yourself

8)      Remember there are other people who feel lonely too – it’s not just you.

9)      Remember you won’t always feel lonely

There is loads of support available to help you if you are suffering from loneliness so don’t suffer in silence. You have HSIS Youth Workers in you school, and support is available daily at Cafe Create. Or to find out about the other wide range of support available visit the HUB.